The Embrace

John's home embraced just mom and grandpa.  Dad had died in Vietnam and mom never remarried. Grandpa had been with them now for 10 years.  During those years, Mom had developed a fondness for "owls."  Walls, end tables ... almost any available surface sported something owl-like: drawings, carvings, mosaics, embroideries, crocheted objects ... you get the picture. And it was neat. It had to be.  To John's mom, clean, organized and symmetrical were not goals, they were essentials to harmony.  You didn't mess at home.

But such was not the case for grandpa who hadn't worn a tie since anyone could remember.  Nor did grandpa shave regularly, either.  Mom tried nagging him for awhile ... to wear this or that, to get cleaned up.  But grandpa was an escape artist.  Slipping to the garage in back of the house he'd work on his favorite endeavor, antique clock restoration.  Grandpa had almost as many old clocks as mom had owls.  They didn't all work and their parts were often spread out in the garage so that even grandpa couldn't remember where all the pieces belonged.  But he didn't care.  He'd putter away.  And when you heard the "clong, clong, clong" you'd know he was nearing the end of yet another restoration.  Oddly, grandpa never sold any of the clocks he restored.  He'd give them away to family or friends for special occasions.  He'd get angry if someone wanted to pay him something.  It was always "just for fun," he'd insist.   

Mom went to church as regular as, well, clockwork!  She was up early on Sunday morning getting herself and John organized to go to church.  Not grandpa.  Grandpa would often go to church with Mom and John, but then he'd get a peculiar sparkle in his eye and be off to another church, synagogue or religious gathering. Mom insisted on regular attendance in Sunday school and confirmation classes.  She said that the Bible was the only holy book ... to be revered as the very "Word of God."  You didn't mess with this, either.  For mom, things needed to be straightforward, reliable.  She held other religions in suspicion or even disgust.  Still, mom was perfectly sincere in her beliefs and one had to admire her tenacity!

As strongly as mom pushed the straight and narrow, grandpa embraced life as a quest.  He'd be quiet while mom was expounding her truths.  But grandpa read. He read a lot on many subjects. Though he was now 80 years old, he loved to learn.  He'd delve into the mysteries of science and get lost in the civilizations of The National Geographic magazine.  He would get stirred by open discussions on philosophy, social concerns, the mysteries of the universe and the eccentricities of a particular beetle! Grandpa was like a great springboard. 

You could be right or wrong with mom but you could never be wrong with grandpa.  Both passionate souls, they seemed to be wired very differently.  With mom there was security, with grandpa, adventure.  Mom knew while grandpa searched.  Grandma (Mom???)  would smile and nod with the sermons while grandpa seemed to be weighing, appraising and pondering.  While mom encouraged memorizing passages, grandpa would be wondering about their context and adaptability to life in the present.  Both mom and grandpa loved Jesus.  Even so, John didn't see mom and grandpa doing a lot of open sharing. 

As John watched mom and grandpa sometimes he wondered how they could get along so well.  But they did. Grandpa somehow knew how to cherish people in the world like mom.  He would defend them saying they had great values to offer; things like security, stability, regularity, loyalty and integrity.  He'd compare them to the gears of a clock, each functioning in harmony.  Grandpa respected mom's values because from them sprang even greater values such as love, kindness, compassion and a purpose for living.

John sometimes wondered how mom had come to give grandpa so much room and even speak kindly of him.  Perhaps she knew that there was really a lot more to life than what she tried to contain. Perhaps she was secretly happy that he could embrace new ideas and still love her, too.  Where she could not feel safe, he could thrive.  And this bigger picture was something that mom could only view with curiosity because of the taboos placed upon her... necessary boundaries for her form of security. She was grateful that though his horizons were ever expanding, he never tried to use his logic, learning or persuasive speech to crush, confuse or control her.  Quietly, she respected his "way" though it was not a path she could easily walk.

John came to see that in their own way they were being true to themselves: one a template, the other a mosaic; one steel, the other putty; one maintaining, the other processing.

But now I’m curious.  Do you think Jesus would favor mom’s spirituality over grandpa’s?  Think long about this for I believe that in Him we have an embrace that holds us all.  Then again …  I could be wrong.  J 

Pr. Dan